Friday, September 28, 2001

Potential Titles for My Autobiography:

"I'm supposed to be where?"
"What Happened?"
"Beer--Nature's Anti-depressent"
"I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday"
"It Seemed Like A Good Idea Last Night"
"Women I've Loved"
"Bitches I've Loved"
"Lesbians I've Loved"
"Lesbian Bitches I've Loved"
"Lesbian Bitches I Thought I Loved But It Was Probably Something I Ate"
"Writer Boy Deludes Himself Into Thinking Someone Cares"
"How To Beat The Stock Market, and Other Concepts I Should Have Paid Attention To In Class"
"Losing Gracefully: A Softball Primer"
"I Really Should Be Working"
"How To Make 25K a Year Without Really Trying"
"If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Try to Rember Some of It"
"Funky Cold Medina"
and, finally,
"Confessions of a chain-smoking broke ass muthafucka"

Feel free to vote via email...I'll get started on it next week, I swear.

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

If you have not done so yet, check out The Onion this week.

Brilliantly bittersweet. Nice work, Onion folks.
Special Thanks to Scott for pointing out my spelling errors...because with content like this, we can't afford to get caught up in the little things.
Dateline: Wednesday---

Treatise on my Job
by Ned Niederlander

I am that guy.
I am the guy stuck on the eigth floor
In a big office
Tucked away from everyone
With the radio on "at a reasonable volume".
I am the guy
Who is given the work
Of the overlords
On the floor below
When they don't want to do it
or need to go out for the afternoon
or they attend the neverending "meeting"
that always seems to go on in the bosses office
with different faces nodding and
rambiling about the need to outsource.
Lit by desk lamps and the ever-present glow of the computer
I warm my hands with my breath
on this cold autumn day
and look at the work
They've accumulated for me.
And then I go and screw around on the net.

Tuesday, September 25, 2001

could it be this easy to post a link?...twould make things much easier.
Plastic's got some interesting articles today...it's a fun place to go, if you haven't been there already. It's a collection of news stories with threads, all moderated by folks who've spent way too much time there. I am one of them. Occasionally frustrating, sometimes enlightening, and frighteningly addictive, I highly recommend it as a top time waster.
I missed the bus.

For the first time since a brief stint in elementary school, I decided it was time to take the bus. Save gas, encourage public transport, be a good citizen, all of that.

And then I missed the bus.

It wasn't as dramatic as that time in college, when I had to chase the bus down, on the one day I was wearing a pair of shorts that were too large, so they kept slipping down as I ran, and I had to keep one hand holding them up, the other on my backpack, and run frantically down the street screaming "Hey! Bus!"; but it was still a sheer miss all the same.

I watched it drive off into the sunset, towards work, steaming tailpipe and all.

And I'm a half hour late for work. No one seems to have noticed, though. Prolly cause I keep a low profile, yo.

Damn, and I had a beautiful essay concerning modern usage of the word "pussy" planned for today.

You'll just have to come back, I guess. Sorry.

Must get coffee.

Monday, September 24, 2001

Looks as though Scott's
got a nicely phrased essay concerning reflections from the past couple of weeks. The boy's got a way with words, I tell you.

Even if he is a wuss who reads Oprah books.

I just turned on the light in my office...it seems warmer now

The illusion of heat, however, is a poor substitute for heat itself.
Monday...again...

My office is fucking freezing. We're talking sub-zero temperatures in here, people. My breath can see it's breath. Normally I have me a nice cup of coffee on the drive to KC, today, however, I had to get a new cup once I got here, cause the coffee got cold on the drive. My life, she is so difficult. So, I've upped my caffene intake for the day by 100%. I'll probably be writing in here a lot, if I can keep my hands from shaking...they do say too much caffene can hurt your attention span....HEY LOOK A BIKE, LET'S GO FOR A RIDE WEEE!

Later.