Friday, October 19, 2001

Heh

Evil has a thousand faces. This one's one of my favorites.
Technology can be Fun!

Alright...so the comment field is officially in place. It's large, ugly, ungainly, and very definetly BLUE, but it works, so try it out. C'mon...I know you want to.

Overheard from the stockbrokers down the hall--

" He's the kind of guy keeps the same wife for thirty years."

There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start....and this from guys who change into their suits in the bathroom AT THE OFFICE before work.

I cry for my world.

Ciao

Thursday, October 18, 2001

Another Perfect Fishy Catastrophe

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

Mr. Man Strikes Back

Shortly after we patted ourselves on the back, Erik recieved the following letter from none other than Mr. Man himself. He was, needless to say, less than pleased.


M. Man
1366 A. Hole Avenue
New York, fickin' New York

Ms. Green ---

Listen you snivly little twit. You take your two part
business plan and stick up your shit shoot. If I want
to be an asshole, I'm goin be an asshole any goddam
time in any goddam way I feel like. I might call you
right now just to fuck over your whole damn day.

People like you make me want to puke in my shoes, walk
around in those shoes all day, and then eat my own
puke for dinner and then eat my shoes for dessert. I
would smack you around but it ain't worth my time to
get up out of my recliner, find my pants, and come
over to where ever the hell you are.

If you ever send me another letter like this I will
find you, hurt you, have a beer to celebrate, hurt you
more, and then throw up my beer on you.

Most Affectionately,

Man


P.S. I do to have a George Foreman grill and I'll
grill up your ground beef in a particularly healthy
low-fat way any time I want!


Tuesday, October 16, 2001

They rule the world, you know

My friend Erik sent me a sad e-mail today concerning the prolferation of assholes in the workplace...I concurred, and we drafted the following letter. Feel free to copy and paste.


Mr. Man
c/o The Big Office
Way Up In There Where All The Power Be, 57601
United States



Dear Mr. Man,

It has come to our attention that in the course of conducting that business which you conduct, in the manner in which you conduct it, your behaviour has been rather unexemplary. In fact, it has been downright hostile. Now, Mr. Man, we understand that you too may have had a hard life, and been abused as a child, and maybe you don't have your chakras aligned, or your bed is too hard, or you don't have a George Foreman (c) Power Grill, but that is not important right now.

Nay, what is very important to us (who have the pleasure of serving under you, sir) is that your behaviour towards us in your many previous correspondances, both in person and over the phone, has been asshole-y. You have said things like an asshole, done things like an asshole, and generally been pretty much an all-around asshole. At first we were permitting you to behave in this assholish manner. But now your assholesque qualities are getting out of hand.

It is with this position in mind that we suggest the following forward-thinking remedies:

--Stop being such an asshole.
--Don't be an asshole anymore

We feel that if you take our comprehensive two part business plan to heart, and use it to forward the thinking of both you, and your administrative teams, there would be much less asshol-iant behaviour in our workplace. Hopefully, you will find, with a less assholey department, productivity will be increased by an assload.

Sincerely,

Katie Green


(We felt that the Katie Green thing would really throw them off, and keep us out of trouble. We're just clever like that)