Tuesday, April 16, 2002

Oh Vile Mysterious Odor!!

My car has a foul and mysterious odor. Or rather, it was foul and mysterious, until I figured out what it was, now it's just foul. It started two days ago, after a particularly long and hot Rain Dogs practice. After having four sweaty guys in the car, I noticed that a certain fetid odor of feet was permeating the vehicle. I wasn't too concerned at this point, figuring it was just the guys, and it would soon dissapate into the usual smoky smell I work so hard to maintain. However, it didn't. It got worse. I would have searched the car more throughly, earlier, and perhaps gotten to the source of the smell, except for the fact that it smelled exactly like one Mr. Jeremy Auman's feet. This led me to believe that perhaps he'd changed his shoes or socks or something before practice, leaving behind said smell in his wake, which is altogether possible, as that smell has been known to linger for days, even weeks. So I left the windows open two nights ago, and hoped it would go away.
The smell grew worse.
Perhaps Auman had left a sock in the car. I didn't know, all I knew is that the smell was starting to fog my mind, and cloud my senses, and IT HAD TO BE ELIMINATED. So I began a thourough search of the back seat. And I found it.
A bowl of cheese soup. Left by the lighting girl in our show. On the floor of the car. Smelling like death.
I quickly reached for the bowl, to get it out of the car, and the stench became overwhelming. I'd like to say I nobly and quickly removed it, but it was more like a twisted game of hot potato, running the back between hands while trying to use the other hand to shield my nose from the stench. Drops of nasty coagulated cheese water leaked from the bag as I threw it out the door and onto the street, all the while making a pathetic little noise somewhere between a whimper, and an "Oooooh". . I quickly threw out with it anything that could have touched it.
The smell still lingers.
Tonight, I shampoo carpets.
Beware the cheese soup.